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The Bitter-sweet Feeling When Turning Back to Allah

Imagine you’re a riding a camel through the desert and you get tired so you decide to stop for a few minutes rest under the shade of a single tree in the middle of the desert. You doze off and when you wake up your camel is nowhere to be seen! 

You look forwards, back, left and right but there’s no sign of your ride which had all your provisions including water and food. You know that without a ride it will be impossible to traverse the vast unforgiving desert and without water, you will most certainly face death. You sit there ready to meet your fate and you blame yourself for dozing off and not tying your camel down.

As you are lamenting you suddenly see your camel in the distance. You start thinking to yourself, am I hallucinating? Is this really my camel? And so you run towards it not caring about conserving energy in case it’s not real and as you go closer and closer you realise it is in fact your camel with all your provisions still in tact!

How would you feel? Relieved? Ecstatic? Over the moon?  Probably a mix of those above emotions and pure happiness right?

You may be thinking why did I just ask you to imagine that? Well, did you know that Allah is more pleased when we return to Him in repentance than a person who loses his camel in a desert and finds it again?

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah is more joyful with the repentance of his servant than one of you who has lost his camel on a journey in an empty desert while it carries his food and drink.”

Bukhari

In another narration, the Prophet said, “Having lost hope, he lies down in the shade and despairs over his camel, but all of a sudden he finds the camel standing over him. He takes hold of its reins and out of joy he proclaims: O Allah, you are my servant and I am your Lord. He makes a mistake due to his extreme joy.”

Muslim

Allahu Akbar! What are we waiting for? Let us return back to Allah no matter what we have done. Let us not be afraid to shed tears for there is a bitter-sweet experience when turning back to Allah with eyes full of tears and a heart full of remorse.

Whilst the regret and acknowledgement of living a life of sin far away from Allah is bitter, there is a sweetness knowing that Allah becomes very pleased when His servant returns to Him and that His mercy is vast and endless.

No matter what you have done or how you have lived your life, Allah’s doors of mercy are always open.

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah Almighty said: O son of Adam, if you call upon me and place your hope in me, I will forgive you without hesitation. O son of Adam, if you have sins piling up to the clouds and then ask for my forgiveness, I will forgive you without hesitation. O son of Adam, if you come to me with enough sins to fill the earth and then you meet me without associating anything with me, I will come to you with enough forgiveness to fill the earth.”

Tirmidhi

O’ Allah you are the own you pardons, you love to pardon so pardon us!

Written by Rafiq ibn Jubair

Rafiq ibn Jubair is the founder and Director of IlmFeed. He is a graphic designer and digital marketing specialist by profession. Rafiq is also a graduate of the Islamic Sciences and has Ijazas (formal authorisation) in Hadith, Tafsir and Fiqh amongst other subjects.

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