No matter how hard you’ve worked all day, do you dread getting a disappointed look from you wife when you enter the house? Are you tired of hearing complaint after complaint? What happened to those happy days? Do you miss her smile? Is there something you can do to bring it back? Before we start, remember one very important fact about women,
“A woman’s need for emotional security is greater than her need for financial security. So, working hard at the office is great, but if you want her to love you, you need to put some hours in your emotional connection with her.”
Here are 5 simple steps to reconnect with your wife and start building emotional happiness:
1. Say “I Love You” More Often
You light up her day with these 3 simple words. She will never, ever get bored of hearing it. Telling her you care about her, will motivate her to keep on going. Unlike you, she needs this kind of reassurance all the time. You can do this by writing her a note, sending her a text or just holding her hand and whispering these words to her.
2. Take Notice Of The Little Things And Say Something Nice
Understand that your wife is capable of multi-tasking. What does this mean? She can juggle the cooking, cleaning and caring for your children and home all at the same time. If your home was a business, it would need at least 10 men to run the place smoothly. So, the next time things don’t look perfect, give her a break and add a nice compliment instead.
What To Say?
- “You are an amazing mother!”
- “That meal was delicious!”
- “Thank you for taking care of everything while I’m at work.”
If you notice something new on her, or a change in her style, but can’t pinpoint exactly what it is? Just realize that your wife wants to beautify herself for you by accessorizing with jewelry, makeup and such. This is all for you! So give her the compliments she deserves.
Say Things Like…
- “You are the most beautiful woman in the world!”
- “You look so radiant and young!”
- “I love that color on you!”
What Not To Do…
- Never stare at another woman when your wife is present (even when she’s not present).
- Don’t joke about marrying another woman – this will destroy her self-confidence, which in turn, will destroy her love for you.
3. Gain Some Points Through Simple Acts of Kindness
Face it, when the mood isn’t happy at home, it means you’re in need of some points. The point factor just explains how your relationship with your wife is going. If there’s happiness, than it’s equal on both sides. When there’s friction, then you need to work up some points.
How To Gain Those Points?
- Fix the bed or at least your side.
- Pick up your dirty clothes and throw it in the hamper.
- Clear the table after eating.
- Plan something special and tell her about it in advance, no surprises. You actually score points when she’s excited, and gets to talk about it.
- Engage her in meaningful conversation. This means, allow her to speak about something and acknowledge that you’ve heard her.
- Offer her a few hours of break from the kids after a long day.
4. Listen To Her Problems, Don’t Solve Them
When your wife speaks, she just wants to be heard. She wants your sympathy, a shoulder to cry on, that is it! She does not want your advice, unless she specifically asks for it. Please don’t criticize her, it only hurts her. She wants to hear that you care about her needs and you understand.
Men Talk = To discuss problems and to give and receive solutions.
Women Talk = To have their emotions recognized and understood.
What To Do When She Feels Emotional?
- Listen and give her your attention.
- Tell her you understand and you’re there for her.
- Don’t give her advice unless she asks for it.
- Don’t tell her she is over reacting or too emotional.
- Be her friend in order to be her life partner.
5. She Needs More Non-Sexual Physical Closeness
Last but not least, your wife needs some emotional closeness, to feel secure in your relationship. This can be achieved by,
- Hugging and cuddling
- Playful caresses
- Kisses and flirtatious looks
Ok hubbys, give these simple steps a try, and see the barakah fill your home InshaAllah. You have nothing to lose, and lots to gain, so let the happiness rain in!
By Umm Abdullah
Republished from SimpleTips4Mom.com with permission